What would happen if Kentucky played an NBA team?

Kentucky is very good, and some NBA teams are not. So what if they played one another?

Fact: the Kentucky Wildcats are the first team in college basketball history to go 37-0 in one season.

Fact: 15 NBA teams have yet to win their 37th game this season, and some of them have not even won twenty games.

So what would happen if one of the less talented NBA teams played this UK squad? Here is a highly accurate timeline of how such a game would play out:

FIRST QUARTER: The NBA team - we'll call them the Los Angedelphia Timberknicks - is super cocky, like the kind of cocky you read about in a fable meant to teach you that you should be humble or you'll get a stomachache from eating too many pears or something. Fables are weird. Anyways, the Timberknicks assume they're going to trounce Kentucky, and they spend most of their time discussing why they even agreed to this game. "Are we getting paid extra for this? Because we have nothing to gain by proving we can beat a non-professional team." That hubris gives Kentucky a seven point lead after one quarter.

SECOND QUARTER: Ok, now the Timberknicks are annoyed. This college team is making them look stupid, and people are making fun of them on Twitter. Athletes hate it when you make fun of them on Twitter and they use that anger to play better. This is why you should always talk a lot of trash to the players from your favorite teams when they aren't winning. It shows you care. Kentucky, confused why we had that long timeout at the twelve minute mark of the first half, sees the lead evaporate and the Timberknicks lead by two at halftime.

"We just have to turn it on in the last sixteen minutes," Coach Calipari tells the sideline reporter.

THIRD QUARTER: Kentucky comes out playing super well. It's some of the best basketball you've ever seen. Every pass is crisp. Every defensive rotation is perfect. The Cats are forcing turnovers and getting points in transition, and Los Angedelphia just doesn't have any answer. At the end of three, UK has a whopping 19 point lead. They're totally going to do it!

FOURTH QUARTER: The pace slows a bit, with each team trading baskets without any change to the deficit. After four minutes, a TV timeout is called.

And Kentucky walks off the court, high-fiving and cheering.

"Wait," says the referee. "We're not done yet." But the Wildcats are halfway to the locker room, eager to text their friends and family about this historic victory.

The Wildcats start changing out of their uniforms and yelling. "CHEESE-CAKE! CHEESE-CAKE! CHEESE-CAKE!" they chant. Coach Calipari smiles; he promised them a dinner at The Cheesecake Factory if they won, because The Cheesecake Factory is for winners. It strikes him as a little odd that no media members have stopped by, but they're probably interviewing the angry and embarrassed Timberknicks.

As they walk on to the team bus, the driver looks perplexed.

"Guys, I'm pretty sure an NBA game is longer tha-"

"CHEESE-CAKE! CHEESE-CAKE! CHEESE-CAKE!"

Laughing, the entire Kentucky team piles into the local Cheesecake Factory. "Turn on SportsCenter!" someone yells to the bartender, who finishes making a Cheesecake Factory Signature Razz-Caramel Sangria for another customer and then changes the channel on the television.

Glee quickly turns to confusion, which quickly turns to horror. Two minutes and 18 seconds are left on the game clock, and the Timberknicks lead by 27. Over and over again, they repeat the same sequence: inbound pass, easy dunk, ref calls five second violation on Kentucky. The crowd is roaring with laughter, shouting each number as the referee counts the seconds to a basketball sitting untouched on the baseline.

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FIVE!"

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FIVE!"

It is the most nightmarish episode of Sesame Street. The Cheesecake Factory dinner, which would normally be the most delicious thing you've ever eaten, is sickening and tastes like stripped pieces of wallpaper soaked in gutter water.

Kentucky leaves eight minutes before the bill arrives.

Source SBNation.com - All Posts http://ift.tt/1EIXAXS